Posts
I defy you to watch this video and not laugh at it. That kid cracks me up.
Hilarious.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Slowly Getting Sicker...
Well, since my last post about S.F.S., things are slowly coming together.
Word has gotten out that I'm producing the show again and people are starting to step up and express interest in the show. I've had some folks already offer to sit-in with the show. Which is good. Saves me from going after them. (Note to self: Start a list of those folks. You'll need it later.)
I had a nice lunch with Megan P. who helped me pick out the performance dates and times. Looks like we'll be on the first Saturday of every month. At midnight. At the Playground. Tickets are going to be $10, but for the first year or so, I'm going to heavily paper the show with 2 for 1's. (It's more important to put asses in seats, than for me to make moolah off of this. Asses in seats = better shows = more return customers = Successful, Long Run of the show.)
I've contacted Edison to come up with a logo for the show. Which is good. I want it to be consistent, professionally designed and on everything that we touch. Marketing materials. Posters. T-Shirts. Web Posts. I want the logo to be everywhere. So, I'm going to send him some sketches and see what he comes up with. (It's pretty simple and you've already seen a crude mock-up of it. We're going to clean it up, though.)
I've also been discussing the show concept with people and getting some feedback from folks who have both done and/or seen the original run(s) of the show. People have offered up some really useful tips and I'm applying some of them. I think that the show will have a very different feel from the original run. Not a "better" feel, just a "different" feel. As you would expect with a new producer/ director.
Oh, and I did my first pass at the poster design today. It's simple and (I think) very effective. Some elements will be consistent from poster to poster. The middle f the poster, though, will be infinitely variable, depending on what I think I can get away with. I'll post pics online when I finish some more of them. I think you'll like them.
I also want to have a simple web presence. So, I'll try to contact the lad who designs the webpages for the BBR. I'll see if he can't come up with a simple homepage design for the show. I'll want show info like start time, location, show description, etc. on the webpage, but I probably won't regularly update it with Guest Info. I think I can accomplish that with a nicely designed MySpace page. So, I'm thinking that the S.F.S. webpage will be pretty easy for him to design for me.
Oh, and we've locked in our opening night...October 6th. (Well, assuming the BBR doesn't do a show at Martyrs that night. If so, then we'll push back to the 13th.) Either way, we'll also be hosting a Free Preview of the show on Saturday, Sept. 8th. A way of saying, "Hey there fuckface! We got a show. You can get a peek for free now, but you gotta pay to come back later!"
I also need to look at assembling a little bit of a press packet and think about how I want to present it to the media for possible coverage. I want to get the show's name out to the rest of the world. Which all plays into my "Get Asses Into Seats" theory.
So, yes, I am getting steadily sicker. It almost looks like this thing is actually going to happen.
Cheers,
COB
Word has gotten out that I'm producing the show again and people are starting to step up and express interest in the show. I've had some folks already offer to sit-in with the show. Which is good. Saves me from going after them. (Note to self: Start a list of those folks. You'll need it later.)
I had a nice lunch with Megan P. who helped me pick out the performance dates and times. Looks like we'll be on the first Saturday of every month. At midnight. At the Playground. Tickets are going to be $10, but for the first year or so, I'm going to heavily paper the show with 2 for 1's. (It's more important to put asses in seats, than for me to make moolah off of this. Asses in seats = better shows = more return customers = Successful, Long Run of the show.)
I've contacted Edison to come up with a logo for the show. Which is good. I want it to be consistent, professionally designed and on everything that we touch. Marketing materials. Posters. T-Shirts. Web Posts. I want the logo to be everywhere. So, I'm going to send him some sketches and see what he comes up with. (It's pretty simple and you've already seen a crude mock-up of it. We're going to clean it up, though.)
I've also been discussing the show concept with people and getting some feedback from folks who have both done and/or seen the original run(s) of the show. People have offered up some really useful tips and I'm applying some of them. I think that the show will have a very different feel from the original run. Not a "better" feel, just a "different" feel. As you would expect with a new producer/ director.
Oh, and I did my first pass at the poster design today. It's simple and (I think) very effective. Some elements will be consistent from poster to poster. The middle f the poster, though, will be infinitely variable, depending on what I think I can get away with. I'll post pics online when I finish some more of them. I think you'll like them.
I also want to have a simple web presence. So, I'll try to contact the lad who designs the webpages for the BBR. I'll see if he can't come up with a simple homepage design for the show. I'll want show info like start time, location, show description, etc. on the webpage, but I probably won't regularly update it with Guest Info. I think I can accomplish that with a nicely designed MySpace page. So, I'm thinking that the S.F.S. webpage will be pretty easy for him to design for me.
Oh, and we've locked in our opening night...October 6th. (Well, assuming the BBR doesn't do a show at Martyrs that night. If so, then we'll push back to the 13th.) Either way, we'll also be hosting a Free Preview of the show on Saturday, Sept. 8th. A way of saying, "Hey there fuckface! We got a show. You can get a peek for free now, but you gotta pay to come back later!"
I also need to look at assembling a little bit of a press packet and think about how I want to present it to the media for possible coverage. I want to get the show's name out to the rest of the world. Which all plays into my "Get Asses Into Seats" theory.
So, yes, I am getting steadily sicker. It almost looks like this thing is actually going to happen.
Cheers,
COB
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Taste of Time.
Today, on the ride to work, I was listening to Radio Lab's Season 1 show about Time. It's pretty interesting, chockful of interesting factoids about time. For example, did you know that it was the railroads that demanded a rigid time system in the mid 1890's? Apparently, times was pretty localized before that. (11:45am at the post office, but 12:05 at the bank and 11:30 at the local bar.) It wasn't until people needed to be "on time" to catch their trains, that the railroad stepped in and enforced local legislature to declare an official time. Which everyone else eventually got in line with.
Another interesting bit of chronological trivia was the "Tasting Clock".
Before there were illuminated clocks, in a time when most sleepers had very little light in their bedrooms at all, clever Victorians came up with the idea of the "tasting clock".
The idea behind it was that it would have covered capsules on the clock that would open at set time during the night. Inside each capsule was a different spice. A sleeper, who woke up and wanted to know what time it was, would merely lick their finger and run it across the top of the clock. When they came to an open capsule, they would insert their finger and get a portion of spice on it. They would then suck on their finger and what they tasted, told them what time it was.
If you got Cinnamon, it was 2am.
If you got Chocolate, it was 4am.
If you got Sugar, it was 6am. (And nearly sunrise.)
In ingenious solution to a problem that localized electrical illumination would eventually make obsolete.
Clever Victorians.
They knew what time "tasted" like.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Another interesting bit of chronological trivia was the "Tasting Clock".
Before there were illuminated clocks, in a time when most sleepers had very little light in their bedrooms at all, clever Victorians came up with the idea of the "tasting clock".
The idea behind it was that it would have covered capsules on the clock that would open at set time during the night. Inside each capsule was a different spice. A sleeper, who woke up and wanted to know what time it was, would merely lick their finger and run it across the top of the clock. When they came to an open capsule, they would insert their finger and get a portion of spice on it. They would then suck on their finger and what they tasted, told them what time it was.
If you got Cinnamon, it was 2am.
If you got Chocolate, it was 4am.
If you got Sugar, it was 6am. (And nearly sunrise.)
In ingenious solution to a problem that localized electrical illumination would eventually make obsolete.
Clever Victorians.
They knew what time "tasted" like.
Cheers,
Mr.B
The Gawronsky Letter.
One of my duties at The New Job is to file documents related to our donors. 9 times out of 10, they look the same. Copy of a check that someone made to us and our "Thank You" letter to them. That's it. Sometimes the donors write a short note or letter to go with the check. But there's usually little more than that.
Today, however, I ran into a beautiful, screaming wreckage of a letter. I've read it two or three times now. There's something crazy and pushy and terribly ill-informed about it. Whenever someone runs blazing in the exact wrong direction, with their eyes closed, you just know that it's going to end badly. And yet, I can't look away.
Here, reprinted for your amusement, typos and all, is a recreation of "The Gawronsky Letter".
12-19-2006
Mr. & Mrs. Larry Gawronsky
Their Home Address.
Battle Creek, MI Zip Code
My WorkPlace.
P.O. Box SomethingOrOther
New York, NY. Zip Code
Research & Testing Dept.
To Whom It May Concern,
It has come to our attention that your establishment condones & continues to do extensive testing on animals. This is against one of our most basic principles for contributing to many worthy causes. We must tell you that for this reason we are suspending all contributions until this practice has been eliminated completely.
Our reasoning is that the reactions that animals DO NOT, We reiterate, DO NOT even come close to or give he results that would appear or happen to a human being. Yes some of the animals my be close, but they are not human, They are either totally different or just short of our DNA and RNA. This is a proven fact for the last 30 years.
We implore you to cease and desist this practice before we resume our support. We also must demand that public announcement over all types of media for 48 hrs. The television announcements must be made ever hr. for 48 hrs so that we will know that the change has taken place. One solution to replace animals is to ASK criminals serving a life sentence to to volunteer for this testing with the promise of parole when the testing is done. They or their families should also be handsomely compensated should they be deformed, brain damaged, terminally ill, died as a result of the testing. They have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
With Great Determination
Larry Gawronsky (in giant swirling cursive signature)
Barbara E Gawronsky (nee Goldfarb) (in neat, tidy cursive)
Larry & Barbara Gawronsky
PS We ask that you forward this letter to the UNIVERSITY THAT WE RAISE MONEY FOR. Thank you.
Well, where to start, actually.
First off, the typos and sentence structure issues are all there. This is someone with more outrage, than formal writing training. Also, don't they know that bolded, size 14 fonts are meant to be read in a screaming voice? Maybe, they meant to scream.
Second, we don't have a "Research & Testing Dept." We have a "mail room". And a "bathroom". And a "conference room". But no "R&T Dept." And wouldn't that be an "R&D Dept" anyways?
Activists, learn from this. Know who you are writing and if they're relevant to the social change that you want to incite.
Third, Animal Testing is...well...sort of essential to scientific research. Whether you're launching chimps into space or trying a new heart medicine on a beagle, there are actual benefits to this research. The risks are too great to risk human life on them. For more info on this, check out this section of the wikipedia. (And the whole "Test on Criminals" theory doesn't account for A.) the wrongfully imprisoned, B.) the genuinely anti-societies that are going to sign up for this, to get their sentences shortened and C.) the inherent problems of releasing criminals back into society, just because they played guinea pig for science. Stupid, stupid, stupid idea there.)
I think that these people aren't Anti-Animal Testing. I think that they're secretly Anti-Animal Cruelty. And who wouldn't be. Of course, we don't want animals to needlessly suffer. (And there are many, many examples of lab agents mis-treating animals.) I think that tighter monitoring of Animal Testing Standards is the solution. That way, science gets the test subjects that it needs and the animals that DO die aren't tortured by these experiments.
I went back and looked up The Gawronsky's donor history. Those two jerks made a single cash donation of $25 back in 1996!
Look, for $25 you don't get to radically alter how medicine is researched at our school, make crazy ass demands and demand that we appear on television for 48 hours, just to make sure that YOU know that we made the change. That's fucking Crazytown. What channel or news channel is going to make hourly announcements about this?
Can't we just fucking call you and tell you that we conceeded to your Crazy-Ass Demands?
There was no other notation made about the letter in their account. My predecessor must've read it, thought, "What a bunch of loons" and dropped the letter on the "To Be Filed" pile, which is where I found it. They didn't even bother to change the acct.
So, somewhere out in Battle Creek, MI, two lone rebels are waging a private war against Animal Testing, demanding change, one 25 dollar donation at a time.
Today, however, I ran into a beautiful, screaming wreckage of a letter. I've read it two or three times now. There's something crazy and pushy and terribly ill-informed about it. Whenever someone runs blazing in the exact wrong direction, with their eyes closed, you just know that it's going to end badly. And yet, I can't look away.
Here, reprinted for your amusement, typos and all, is a recreation of "The Gawronsky Letter".
12-19-2006
Mr. & Mrs. Larry Gawronsky
Their Home Address.
Battle Creek, MI Zip Code
My WorkPlace.
P.O. Box SomethingOrOther
New York, NY. Zip Code
Research & Testing Dept.
To Whom It May Concern,
It has come to our attention that your establishment condones & continues to do extensive testing on animals. This is against one of our most basic principles for contributing to many worthy causes. We must tell you that for this reason we are suspending all contributions until this practice has been eliminated completely.
Our reasoning is that the reactions that animals DO NOT, We reiterate, DO NOT even come close to or give he results that would appear or happen to a human being. Yes some of the animals my be close, but they are not human, They are either totally different or just short of our DNA and RNA. This is a proven fact for the last 30 years.
We implore you to cease and desist this practice before we resume our support. We also must demand that public announcement over all types of media for 48 hrs. The television announcements must be made ever hr. for 48 hrs so that we will know that the change has taken place. One solution to replace animals is to ASK criminals serving a life sentence to to volunteer for this testing with the promise of parole when the testing is done. They or their families should also be handsomely compensated should they be deformed, brain damaged, terminally ill, died as a result of the testing. They have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
With Great Determination
Larry Gawronsky (in giant swirling cursive signature)
Barbara E Gawronsky (nee Goldfarb) (in neat, tidy cursive)
Larry & Barbara Gawronsky
PS We ask that you forward this letter to the UNIVERSITY THAT WE RAISE MONEY FOR. Thank you.
Well, where to start, actually.
First off, the typos and sentence structure issues are all there. This is someone with more outrage, than formal writing training. Also, don't they know that bolded, size 14 fonts are meant to be read in a screaming voice? Maybe, they meant to scream.
Second, we don't have a "Research & Testing Dept." We have a "mail room". And a "bathroom". And a "conference room". But no "R&T Dept." And wouldn't that be an "R&D Dept" anyways?
Activists, learn from this. Know who you are writing and if they're relevant to the social change that you want to incite.
Third, Animal Testing is...well...sort of essential to scientific research. Whether you're launching chimps into space or trying a new heart medicine on a beagle, there are actual benefits to this research. The risks are too great to risk human life on them. For more info on this, check out this section of the wikipedia. (And the whole "Test on Criminals" theory doesn't account for A.) the wrongfully imprisoned, B.) the genuinely anti-societies that are going to sign up for this, to get their sentences shortened and C.) the inherent problems of releasing criminals back into society, just because they played guinea pig for science. Stupid, stupid, stupid idea there.)
I think that these people aren't Anti-Animal Testing. I think that they're secretly Anti-Animal Cruelty. And who wouldn't be. Of course, we don't want animals to needlessly suffer. (And there are many, many examples of lab agents mis-treating animals.) I think that tighter monitoring of Animal Testing Standards is the solution. That way, science gets the test subjects that it needs and the animals that DO die aren't tortured by these experiments.
I went back and looked up The Gawronsky's donor history. Those two jerks made a single cash donation of $25 back in 1996!
Look, for $25 you don't get to radically alter how medicine is researched at our school, make crazy ass demands and demand that we appear on television for 48 hours, just to make sure that YOU know that we made the change. That's fucking Crazytown. What channel or news channel is going to make hourly announcements about this?
Can't we just fucking call you and tell you that we conceeded to your Crazy-Ass Demands?
There was no other notation made about the letter in their account. My predecessor must've read it, thought, "What a bunch of loons" and dropped the letter on the "To Be Filed" pile, which is where I found it. They didn't even bother to change the acct.
So, somewhere out in Battle Creek, MI, two lone rebels are waging a private war against Animal Testing, demanding change, one 25 dollar donation at a time.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
All Things Lutz!
Today, while riding in Edison Girard's vehicle, I saw this guy
walking South on Broadway Ave, here in Chicago.
Actually, Edison saw him first and said, "Hey. Isn't that John Lutz?" My eyesight is notoriously bad, so I said, "No. No way. Lutz is in New York now." And so we let the guy walk on by...
Except, at the last second, on a whim, I yelled, "Hey Lutz!" out of the car window. If it was him, then we could wave and say "hi" to him. If it wasn't, the guy would just walk on, oblivious.
It was him.
He stopped and looked over at us and shielded his eyes with his hands. He was looking directly into the setting sun, to see us.
I yelled, "It's Me!" and yelled my last name. Our light changed and Edison had to pull away from the light. But Lutz smiled in recognition and waved at us.
And that felt pretty nice.
I haven't seen that guy in a few years. Like 3 or 4 years. He was performing at IO, when I was a student there. And I saw him perform in a few shows. I remember one show of his, that casually passed along one of those Major Improv Revelations to me, just from something that he did onstage. A lesson that I've passed onto other people since then. (Ask me about it sometime and I'll tell you the whole story.)
And of course, I knew that he'd been hired back in 2004 to write on this show.
See? There's his name in the credits of the show.
Everybody I knew was so happy for him. Getting a gig on that show is a pretty big deal. People have had their careers made for them, by that particular gig. And he was one of the most talented people that we knew. So, OF COURSE, we were all excited for him.
Occasionally, he would pop up on the show, as an extra or as a guy in the audience, asking the guest a question, during the opening monologue. The message board would light up with people talking about him and wishing him well. We all really like this guy.
So, we were also pretty excited when he popped up as a frequent guest on this show...
See? There he is, in a scene from the show.
Ironically, enough, I had just watched four episodes of the show last night. I'd let them store up on my DVR and would work my way through them, all in one sitting. And so the show was pretty fresh on my mind.
Imagine then, the strangeness of seeing the very same guy, here in Chicago, today, just crossing the street, totally oblivious to the fact that he was on my tv, last night. Surreal. Next, I expect to see the Mythbusters buying milk in my grocery store.
I like this guy. I have learned from him. And I respect this guy. I am happy for his successes and of course, it makes me happy that he remembers me. When I wave at him, he waves back at me. And that's a nice feeling. In fact, it made my day.
Cheers,
Mr.B
walking South on Broadway Ave, here in Chicago.
Actually, Edison saw him first and said, "Hey. Isn't that John Lutz?" My eyesight is notoriously bad, so I said, "No. No way. Lutz is in New York now." And so we let the guy walk on by...
Except, at the last second, on a whim, I yelled, "Hey Lutz!" out of the car window. If it was him, then we could wave and say "hi" to him. If it wasn't, the guy would just walk on, oblivious.
It was him.
He stopped and looked over at us and shielded his eyes with his hands. He was looking directly into the setting sun, to see us.
I yelled, "It's Me!" and yelled my last name. Our light changed and Edison had to pull away from the light. But Lutz smiled in recognition and waved at us.
And that felt pretty nice.
I haven't seen that guy in a few years. Like 3 or 4 years. He was performing at IO, when I was a student there. And I saw him perform in a few shows. I remember one show of his, that casually passed along one of those Major Improv Revelations to me, just from something that he did onstage. A lesson that I've passed onto other people since then. (Ask me about it sometime and I'll tell you the whole story.)
And of course, I knew that he'd been hired back in 2004 to write on this show.
See? There's his name in the credits of the show.
Everybody I knew was so happy for him. Getting a gig on that show is a pretty big deal. People have had their careers made for them, by that particular gig. And he was one of the most talented people that we knew. So, OF COURSE, we were all excited for him.
Occasionally, he would pop up on the show, as an extra or as a guy in the audience, asking the guest a question, during the opening monologue. The message board would light up with people talking about him and wishing him well. We all really like this guy.
So, we were also pretty excited when he popped up as a frequent guest on this show...
See? There he is, in a scene from the show.
Ironically, enough, I had just watched four episodes of the show last night. I'd let them store up on my DVR and would work my way through them, all in one sitting. And so the show was pretty fresh on my mind.
Imagine then, the strangeness of seeing the very same guy, here in Chicago, today, just crossing the street, totally oblivious to the fact that he was on my tv, last night. Surreal. Next, I expect to see the Mythbusters buying milk in my grocery store.
I like this guy. I have learned from him. And I respect this guy. I am happy for his successes and of course, it makes me happy that he remembers me. When I wave at him, he waves back at me. And that's a nice feeling. In fact, it made my day.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Radio Lab - On Memory and Forgetting.
Look, I've already railed on and on about how good Radio Lab is and you still haven't begun listening to it on your own.
I know why.
Because Podcasting is a scary hobby to break into. There are a lot of shows to choose from. There's a hidden suspicion that this is going to cost you something. And until you click on the "Podcasts" button of your Itunes and actually look around, it's an unexplored resource.
So, I'm going to make it even easier.
I was just tooling around on the Radio Lab website, downloading mp3's of old shows that I've never heard and I saw that you can now embed audio from the shows on your own website.
If I can't get you to go listen to Radio Lab, I can put some of it here for you to listen to, on your own.
Without anymore introduction, I present the opening sequence of the June 8, 2007 show, titled "On Memory and Forgetting". Here's the text description from their website about what you're about to hear...
Here's the clip.
Turn up the volume.
Turn off your phone.
Expand your mind.
Enrich your world.
Enjoy.
I know why.
Because Podcasting is a scary hobby to break into. There are a lot of shows to choose from. There's a hidden suspicion that this is going to cost you something. And until you click on the "Podcasts" button of your Itunes and actually look around, it's an unexplored resource.
So, I'm going to make it even easier.
I was just tooling around on the Radio Lab website, downloading mp3's of old shows that I've never heard and I saw that you can now embed audio from the shows on your own website.
If I can't get you to go listen to Radio Lab, I can put some of it here for you to listen to, on your own.
Without anymore introduction, I present the opening sequence of the June 8, 2007 show, titled "On Memory and Forgetting". Here's the text description from their website about what you're about to hear...
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Rat
What is a memory? Science writer Jonah Lehrer tells us is it’s a physical thing in the brain… not some ephemeral flash. It’s a concrete thing made of matter. And NYU neuroscientist Joe LeDoux, who studies fear memories in rats, tells us how with a one shock, one tone, and one drug injection, you can bust up this piece of matter, and prevent a rat from every making a memory. LeDoux’s research goes sci-fi, when he and his colleague Karim Nader start trying to erase memories. And Nader applies this research to humans suffering from PTSD.
Here's the clip.
Turn up the volume.
Turn off your phone.
Expand your mind.
Enrich your world.
Enjoy.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I Must Own These T-Shirts.
Saw these on a t-shirt site that I frequent. They will be my next two purchases. (Total cost for them, plus shipping, around $30. I think that can be worked into my modest living budget.)
and
There was a third t-shirt that I was also eye-balling at the same site that I am also deeply, deeply in love with. It will be the ULTIMATE "party t-shirt", but I don't want to show it or link to it here.
Because if you saw it, you'd want it immediately and I don't want to be the guy who copies your t-shirt purchases. I want YOU to be the guy who copies MY t-shirt purchases.
I promise to post a pic, though, once I have made it my own.
The future is here, friends and neighbors.
It's printed neatly on our t-shirts.
Cheers,
Mr.B
and
There was a third t-shirt that I was also eye-balling at the same site that I am also deeply, deeply in love with. It will be the ULTIMATE "party t-shirt", but I don't want to show it or link to it here.
Because if you saw it, you'd want it immediately and I don't want to be the guy who copies your t-shirt purchases. I want YOU to be the guy who copies MY t-shirt purchases.
I promise to post a pic, though, once I have made it my own.
The future is here, friends and neighbors.
It's printed neatly on our t-shirts.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Friday, July 27, 2007
Jesus Christ rips off George Washington.
Remember the George Washington video that I linked to, a few weeks back?
Well, there's sort of a sequel.
Sort of.
In that the original artists didn't do it and these other guys ripped off the song, the cartoon style, the vocal style, well... everything.
I give you the derivative "Jesus Christ".
I also serve notice to Youtube. This is it, dude. I'm only going to look at/post this one parody. If people have the time to keep ripping off "George Washington" with their meager rapping and cartooning skills....I'm not...fucking...watching it.
You've been served notice, Youtube Community.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Well, there's sort of a sequel.
Sort of.
In that the original artists didn't do it and these other guys ripped off the song, the cartoon style, the vocal style, well... everything.
I give you the derivative "Jesus Christ".
I also serve notice to Youtube. This is it, dude. I'm only going to look at/post this one parody. If people have the time to keep ripping off "George Washington" with their meager rapping and cartooning skills....I'm not...fucking...watching it.
You've been served notice, Youtube Community.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Stephen Colbert's Green Screen Challenge.
Do you remember a while back when Stephen Colbert posted footage of himself moving in front of a green screen online for people to edit into their own footage?
The original footage looked something like this. (minus the crappy lasers.)
Well, people got pretty creative and here are some of the videos that they made.
Colbert's Ipod
Colbert vs. OK GO
LEGO Colbert
Stephen Colbert & Obi Wan & Qui Gon Jin vs Darth Maul.
And my personal favorite, Colbert vs. The Rancor.
By the way, THIS was the winning video.
This man...
...is a genius.
Cheers,
Mr.B
The original footage looked something like this. (minus the crappy lasers.)
Well, people got pretty creative and here are some of the videos that they made.
Colbert's Ipod
Colbert vs. OK GO
LEGO Colbert
Stephen Colbert & Obi Wan & Qui Gon Jin vs Darth Maul.
And my personal favorite, Colbert vs. The Rancor.
By the way, THIS was the winning video.
This man...
...is a genius.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Let me tell you a story...
Well, I had the second of three very necessary conversations today, to produce the next show that I want to work on. I feel like I'm some sort of knight on a quest to complete three trials before I can win the day.
First, I had to meet with and discuss the show with one of the show's creators, Fuzzy G, and get his stamp of approval. He not only gave it, but expressed interest in occupying one of the seats in the show.
Today, I had a nice twenty minute conversation with one of the other creators, Don Hall, discussing a possible remount. He gave it his blessing and even offered up some helpful tips on how to run the show. (For Example, he suggested that one person be the designated dealer and that we NOT show hardcore porn on a tv screen behind the performers, as the audience just watches the dicks and tits and pussies and don't listen to the stories.) He also agreed to be our guest storyteller every now and then, as our mutual schedules allow.
Next, I need to contact The Himmerick and seek out his approval.
So far, I'm really lucky in that all three of the show's creators have been very supportive of my plan. And I have some really smart ideas for making the show feel just like an exciting, rock-and-roll show. I've got a poster design in mind and a bit of a marketing technique in mind and even a target audience, which I will really go after. If it all works out, we'll have a nice, profitable, long run of a real improv rock show. Except, instead of playing music, we'll be telling Sick...Fucking...Stories.
More Info Coming As I Get It...
First, I had to meet with and discuss the show with one of the show's creators, Fuzzy G, and get his stamp of approval. He not only gave it, but expressed interest in occupying one of the seats in the show.
Today, I had a nice twenty minute conversation with one of the other creators, Don Hall, discussing a possible remount. He gave it his blessing and even offered up some helpful tips on how to run the show. (For Example, he suggested that one person be the designated dealer and that we NOT show hardcore porn on a tv screen behind the performers, as the audience just watches the dicks and tits and pussies and don't listen to the stories.) He also agreed to be our guest storyteller every now and then, as our mutual schedules allow.
Next, I need to contact The Himmerick and seek out his approval.
So far, I'm really lucky in that all three of the show's creators have been very supportive of my plan. And I have some really smart ideas for making the show feel just like an exciting, rock-and-roll show. I've got a poster design in mind and a bit of a marketing technique in mind and even a target audience, which I will really go after. If it all works out, we'll have a nice, profitable, long run of a real improv rock show. Except, instead of playing music, we'll be telling Sick...Fucking...Stories.
More Info Coming As I Get It...
The Art of Noise's "Close (to the edit)."
Oh, Art of Noise, why must you blow my mind up with your surreal videos?
My mind, she is blowed up.
Mr.B
My mind, she is blowed up.
Mr.B
"Flat Life"
Got ten minutes to spare?
Want to see a really clever little animated short?
Watch this...
It's called "Flat Life" and it was made my Belgium artist Jonas Geirnaert in 2004. it won the Jury Prize at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival.
I thought it was really rather charming.
And made exceptionally clean use of spare sound and rhythm.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Want to see a really clever little animated short?
Watch this...
It's called "Flat Life" and it was made my Belgium artist Jonas Geirnaert in 2004. it won the Jury Prize at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival.
I thought it was really rather charming.
And made exceptionally clean use of spare sound and rhythm.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Monday, July 23, 2007
A Few Words About "Fugue"...
I've been in rehearsal for "Fugue" for a month or so, now. The show opens on Wednesday, August 29th. And runs for eight weeks.
It's currently five weeks away from opening night.
I thought I might take a little time tonight and throw some words at this show and my experiences rehearsing it, so far, and see if I can't give you a sense of what I am experiencing and what lies ahead.
Here's the description of the show, taken from the TM auditions call. It's what caught my eye and got me interested in the show, in the first place.
Sounds interesting, no?
Duets running simultaneously, never resting, intersecting spatially, but not scenically. Actors existing in the same physical space, whereas their characters are in separate rooms, countries and times. Almost like ghosts that the audience can see, moving around them, unaware, but they themselves cannot see.
There's something ethereal and lovely, lurking underneath the surface of this show concept. The feeling of being isolated in a crowd. Who hasn't felt that?
I am encouraged by everything that I've seen in this process. The cast is strong and dedicated. Each rehearsal has a fresh, alive feeling. Almost like we all know that we're onto something special here and we're all marking every moment of rehearsal.
And the cast speaks with such a varied voice in rehearsals. There are a few "old theater dogs" in the cast. And a few "newbies" too. But there's no sense of rank or social structure involved. We approach each other openly, with respect and interest. And that leads to some very exciting scenes playing out.
It's also a very, very smart cast. The discussions that we have about the form, inevitably branch out to be discussion of improv, as a whole. I get goosebumps everytime anyone asks, "Why DO we do it like that?" I wish every improviser began every rehearsal with that question.
I like Don's direction. It's clear that he's really, really into this process. He's actively engaged by the challenges of this show. And he's been very, very smart about the warm-ups and the exercises that he's given us. Everything that we do, from the first rehearsal check-in process, to the physical warm-up to the scenic explorations, all have elements that are directly applicable to the show.
He also has created a very real, "Anything Is Possible" attitude in rehearsal. He's not constrained by his own vision for the show. I've seen it adapt and engage the work that we're giving him. His advice is always "I don't know if that will work or not, why don't you give it a try?" and that has lead us to some really wonderful discoveries.
I also like that he encourages us to surprise him. Which keeps us thinking. Did I mention that it's a very smart cast?
I've had some surprises in the rehearsal process. I find myself, letting go and taking risks with these talented, young actors and actresses. I've revealed some very personal information about myself to them. Because they offered the same to me. And I wanted them to know that I would give them as much as they gave me.
I've also fucked up a few times in the exercises. For example, there's a physical warm-up where we start in a prone position on the floor and take twenty minutes to get into a standing position. I've never done it "right". Not once. I always fuck up my timing and finish way too early. And in those moments, when I've already "failed" the exercise, I've had some absolutely engaging moments of "well, NOW what do I do". The answer, I've found, is that I continue moving slowly, continue failing, and find something that satisfies me in that place of failure.
Normally, I hate failing at something. I've learned a lot from my failures in these rehearsals. And I didn't mind failing at them. Which is a pretty good indicator that it's a safe rehearsal environment.
We've ran the form a few times now and it's like watching a sniper hit a long-range target. Our first shot was a little off the mark. Our second shot was off the mark, in the other direction, but closer to target. Our third shot, was off in another direction, but still closer to the target. They're not random shots, we're triangulating on the form and getting closer with each shot at it. It's only a matter of time until we hit the bullseye.
And it's a very process. The end result will be a very exciting show. A thrilling, dangerous exercise in theatrical improvisation that will open you up to the possibilities of the artform. I've been seeing a lot of the same shows lately. Hell, I've been doing a lot of the same shows, lately. Different forms, same playing style, same subject matter, etc. This show and what it's going after, is a breath of fresh air.
I want everyone to know about it, because I want them to be able to come see it. Sink or swim. Succeed or fail, this show is reaching for the stars and that's what it's all about right? Art. Life. Love. Which of these should be harnessed by modest goals?
None of them.
I think it's going to be a good show. An exceptionally good show. If it's been a while since you saw an improvised piece that got you jazzed up to be doing the work, then you might want to mark your calendar and come check this show out. I think that you owe it to the starving artist inside your soul.
One voice, in a company of eight,
Mr. B
It's currently five weeks away from opening night.
I thought I might take a little time tonight and throw some words at this show and my experiences rehearsing it, so far, and see if I can't give you a sense of what I am experiencing and what lies ahead.
Here's the description of the show, taken from the TM auditions call. It's what caught my eye and got me interested in the show, in the first place.
In the style of a musical fugue, this piece explores layered perspectives on a specific theme.
4 scenes will play onstage simultaneously, as instruments in a fugue would be played, exploring the suggestion of the show through long scenes that run the entirety of the show. These scenes will invade each other's space while maintaining their own voices, and fluid give-and-take will allow for each scene's "instrument" to be clearly heard.
Sounds interesting, no?
Duets running simultaneously, never resting, intersecting spatially, but not scenically. Actors existing in the same physical space, whereas their characters are in separate rooms, countries and times. Almost like ghosts that the audience can see, moving around them, unaware, but they themselves cannot see.
There's something ethereal and lovely, lurking underneath the surface of this show concept. The feeling of being isolated in a crowd. Who hasn't felt that?
I am encouraged by everything that I've seen in this process. The cast is strong and dedicated. Each rehearsal has a fresh, alive feeling. Almost like we all know that we're onto something special here and we're all marking every moment of rehearsal.
And the cast speaks with such a varied voice in rehearsals. There are a few "old theater dogs" in the cast. And a few "newbies" too. But there's no sense of rank or social structure involved. We approach each other openly, with respect and interest. And that leads to some very exciting scenes playing out.
It's also a very, very smart cast. The discussions that we have about the form, inevitably branch out to be discussion of improv, as a whole. I get goosebumps everytime anyone asks, "Why DO we do it like that?" I wish every improviser began every rehearsal with that question.
I like Don's direction. It's clear that he's really, really into this process. He's actively engaged by the challenges of this show. And he's been very, very smart about the warm-ups and the exercises that he's given us. Everything that we do, from the first rehearsal check-in process, to the physical warm-up to the scenic explorations, all have elements that are directly applicable to the show.
He also has created a very real, "Anything Is Possible" attitude in rehearsal. He's not constrained by his own vision for the show. I've seen it adapt and engage the work that we're giving him. His advice is always "I don't know if that will work or not, why don't you give it a try?" and that has lead us to some really wonderful discoveries.
I also like that he encourages us to surprise him. Which keeps us thinking. Did I mention that it's a very smart cast?
I've had some surprises in the rehearsal process. I find myself, letting go and taking risks with these talented, young actors and actresses. I've revealed some very personal information about myself to them. Because they offered the same to me. And I wanted them to know that I would give them as much as they gave me.
I've also fucked up a few times in the exercises. For example, there's a physical warm-up where we start in a prone position on the floor and take twenty minutes to get into a standing position. I've never done it "right". Not once. I always fuck up my timing and finish way too early. And in those moments, when I've already "failed" the exercise, I've had some absolutely engaging moments of "well, NOW what do I do". The answer, I've found, is that I continue moving slowly, continue failing, and find something that satisfies me in that place of failure.
Normally, I hate failing at something. I've learned a lot from my failures in these rehearsals. And I didn't mind failing at them. Which is a pretty good indicator that it's a safe rehearsal environment.
We've ran the form a few times now and it's like watching a sniper hit a long-range target. Our first shot was a little off the mark. Our second shot was off the mark, in the other direction, but closer to target. Our third shot, was off in another direction, but still closer to the target. They're not random shots, we're triangulating on the form and getting closer with each shot at it. It's only a matter of time until we hit the bullseye.
And it's a very process. The end result will be a very exciting show. A thrilling, dangerous exercise in theatrical improvisation that will open you up to the possibilities of the artform. I've been seeing a lot of the same shows lately. Hell, I've been doing a lot of the same shows, lately. Different forms, same playing style, same subject matter, etc. This show and what it's going after, is a breath of fresh air.
I want everyone to know about it, because I want them to be able to come see it. Sink or swim. Succeed or fail, this show is reaching for the stars and that's what it's all about right? Art. Life. Love. Which of these should be harnessed by modest goals?
None of them.
I think it's going to be a good show. An exceptionally good show. If it's been a while since you saw an improvised piece that got you jazzed up to be doing the work, then you might want to mark your calendar and come check this show out. I think that you owe it to the starving artist inside your soul.
One voice, in a company of eight,
Mr. B
Raise some Funds, yal!
I just got an email from Tony that there's a fundraiser for Theatre Momentum in a few weeks. TM is the group that's producing "Fugue", the improvised, dramatic, multi-dimensional piece that I'm working on, right now. So, I'm planning on coming out that night to throw some cash at these folks. Cash, which will get spent on flyers, advertising and marketing for the show. So, it's a good investment.
If you're free, you should come out, too.
Looks like I finally have an excuse to go buy another $10 suit from the Village Discount Outlet. The seedier and seventies-ier, the better.
Freak Out!
Mr.B
If you're free, you should come out, too.
'70s Dance night!
Please join Theatre Momentum on Saturday, August 4th at Trace Bar (3714 North Clark St.) for 70s dancing and partying!
Bust out those platform shoes and sparkly shirts because we've got the entire upstairs bar to ourselves for 70s dancing the whole night through! Cover is just $5.00 per person and all the proceeds go to Theatre Momentum, an improv theatre company with shows at the Theater Building Chicago. You can meet and hang out with the cast, dance the night away with some fun people, and support live theatre, all at once. Plus…
*We get drink discounts!*
Miller Lite for $3 and well drinks for $3
By the way, lots of people have asked if they should deck themselves out in '70s clothes—go for it! Hope you all get in the spirit! See you on the 4th!
Please join Theatre Momentum on Saturday, August 4th at Trace Bar (3714 North Clark St.) for 70s dancing and partying!
Bust out those platform shoes and sparkly shirts because we've got the entire upstairs bar to ourselves for 70s dancing the whole night through! Cover is just $5.00 per person and all the proceeds go to Theatre Momentum, an improv theatre company with shows at the Theater Building Chicago. You can meet and hang out with the cast, dance the night away with some fun people, and support live theatre, all at once. Plus…
*We get drink discounts!*
Miller Lite for $3 and well drinks for $3
By the way, lots of people have asked if they should deck themselves out in '70s clothes—go for it! Hope you all get in the spirit! See you on the 4th!
Looks like I finally have an excuse to go buy another $10 suit from the Village Discount Outlet. The seedier and seventies-ier, the better.
Freak Out!
Mr.B
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Another Small Life Upgrade: The New Cell Phone.
A few weeks ago, I got a nice letter from T-Mobile.
Basically, it said, "Hey there, Mr. B. Would you like a new RAZR phone for dirt cheap? Like $20. No shit. Call us. We'll hook you up. T-Mobile."
So, this past weekend, with nothing better to do, I called them to see what was going on.
Turns out my contract had expired in August of last year and the good folks at T-Mobile and I have been operating on a "good faith" contract since then. And that was fine for both of us until June.
When the new Iphone came out.
Which has T-Mobile scared shitless that I might go buy one and use THAT cell service.
And now T-Mobile is ready for a commitment from me. And they're not above bribery.
Which is good.
Because I'm not above being bribed.
I called the operator and asked about the promotion. And here's the skinny. For signing a 2 year contract, I get a new RAZR and 400 extra whenever minutes, a month. For no additional fee. No processing fees. No rebates needed.
Free phone.
(Which I secretly did want)
More minutes a month.
(Which keeps me from going overtime, lowering my monthly bill)
All for promising not to change services, which I wasn't going to do anyways.
Besides, in two years, I'll have sold a movie pilot or a a tv pilot and will be ready to buy one of the next gen Iphones. The ones that have worked out all of the kinks of the first Iphone.
So, today, THIS was shipped to my office.
Now, I just need to re-download my favorite ringtones back onto the new phone, re-download my Superman wallpaper and teach my text messaging auto-speller the words "shit", "fuck", "fucking", "bullshit", "asshole", "tits", "dick", "goddammit", "fuckface", "shithead" and "Hendo".
That's right, Hendo, my text messager thinks your name is a dirty word.
Congratulations.
Moving on up,
Mr.B
Basically, it said, "Hey there, Mr. B. Would you like a new RAZR phone for dirt cheap? Like $20. No shit. Call us. We'll hook you up. T-Mobile."
So, this past weekend, with nothing better to do, I called them to see what was going on.
Turns out my contract had expired in August of last year and the good folks at T-Mobile and I have been operating on a "good faith" contract since then. And that was fine for both of us until June.
When the new Iphone came out.
Which has T-Mobile scared shitless that I might go buy one and use THAT cell service.
And now T-Mobile is ready for a commitment from me. And they're not above bribery.
Which is good.
Because I'm not above being bribed.
I called the operator and asked about the promotion. And here's the skinny. For signing a 2 year contract, I get a new RAZR and 400 extra whenever minutes, a month. For no additional fee. No processing fees. No rebates needed.
Free phone.
(Which I secretly did want)
More minutes a month.
(Which keeps me from going overtime, lowering my monthly bill)
All for promising not to change services, which I wasn't going to do anyways.
Besides, in two years, I'll have sold a movie pilot or a a tv pilot and will be ready to buy one of the next gen Iphones. The ones that have worked out all of the kinks of the first Iphone.
So, today, THIS was shipped to my office.
Now, I just need to re-download my favorite ringtones back onto the new phone, re-download my Superman wallpaper and teach my text messaging auto-speller the words "shit", "fuck", "fucking", "bullshit", "asshole", "tits", "dick", "goddammit", "fuckface", "shithead" and "Hendo".
That's right, Hendo, my text messager thinks your name is a dirty word.
Congratulations.
Moving on up,
Mr.B
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I've been Simpson-ized.
There's a Simpson's avatar generator on the movie website, www.simpsonsmovie.com.
I made myself.
Sort of.
Well, as much as the generator would allow me to.
Anyways, this is me, Simpsonized.
One more image to drop into my Flickr badge.
Cheers,
Mr.B
I made myself.
Sort of.
Well, as much as the generator would allow me to.
Anyways, this is me, Simpsonized.
One more image to drop into my Flickr badge.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Beatrix Lestrange is a "Fucking Whore".
BE FOREWARNED: SOME HARRY POTTER SPOILERS AHEAD!
Went and saw Harry Potter 5 last night on one of the big Michigan Ave. screen. I'm glad I did. It's a big, big movie. And it needs the screen size to get all of that magic across.
I liked it. A lot. It was EXACTLY what I wanted. Which was, "More of the same Harry Potter goodness, with the same cast, some new characters and mind-blowing special effects." Which is exactly what I got.
Sentient, Hidden Practice Rooms. Indoor fireworks. Giants. Centaurs and a wonderfully realized full-on Wizard Battle at the very end that really delivers. (As much as I liked the fire snake, I liked the ball of water, more!)
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I haven't read any of the books. I am waiting until the movies are done and then I'll work my way through them.)
It was a pretty full house, too. Not a whole lot of kids. And Not a whole lot of solo adults either. Lots of couples, though. Apparently, the Potter movies are good "date material".
If you're dating a nerd.
For example, sitting to my right was a nice, normal, quiet guy. He was reading a book, in the dim light, before the movie began. Ten minutes after we both sat down, a pretty girl came in, hugged him and they sat together, to watch the movie. Before the film started, they quietly chatted in their very American dialects.
Imagine my surprise and amusement, when during the movie, as Beatrix Lestrange kills a very important character, this same guy quickly and angrily spits out, "You fucking whooooore!" in a very crisp British dialect. A dialect that he didn't evidence before the movie began.
There was no surprise in his voice, just plain, festering hatred. And at the critical moment, when Lestrange does the thing that she does, he couldn't contain himself and he cursed her. At a fictional character. A person who wasn't even there, because they don't exist, at all.
I thought that was sort of interesting. I didn't have that emotionally attached to any character in the film. So, I can't imagine getting that worked up. But this guy did and he let fly with a slur in a dialect that he's picked up from the movie. I guess you could say that he got his money's worth.
See you at the movies,
Mr.B
Went and saw Harry Potter 5 last night on one of the big Michigan Ave. screen. I'm glad I did. It's a big, big movie. And it needs the screen size to get all of that magic across.
I liked it. A lot. It was EXACTLY what I wanted. Which was, "More of the same Harry Potter goodness, with the same cast, some new characters and mind-blowing special effects." Which is exactly what I got.
Sentient, Hidden Practice Rooms. Indoor fireworks. Giants. Centaurs and a wonderfully realized full-on Wizard Battle at the very end that really delivers. (As much as I liked the fire snake, I liked the ball of water, more!)
(FULL DISCLOSURE: I haven't read any of the books. I am waiting until the movies are done and then I'll work my way through them.)
It was a pretty full house, too. Not a whole lot of kids. And Not a whole lot of solo adults either. Lots of couples, though. Apparently, the Potter movies are good "date material".
If you're dating a nerd.
For example, sitting to my right was a nice, normal, quiet guy. He was reading a book, in the dim light, before the movie began. Ten minutes after we both sat down, a pretty girl came in, hugged him and they sat together, to watch the movie. Before the film started, they quietly chatted in their very American dialects.
Imagine my surprise and amusement, when during the movie, as Beatrix Lestrange kills a very important character, this same guy quickly and angrily spits out, "You fucking whooooore!" in a very crisp British dialect. A dialect that he didn't evidence before the movie began.
There was no surprise in his voice, just plain, festering hatred. And at the critical moment, when Lestrange does the thing that she does, he couldn't contain himself and he cursed her. At a fictional character. A person who wasn't even there, because they don't exist, at all.
I thought that was sort of interesting. I didn't have that emotionally attached to any character in the film. So, I can't imagine getting that worked up. But this guy did and he let fly with a slur in a dialect that he's picked up from the movie. I guess you could say that he got his money's worth.
See you at the movies,
Mr.B
Monday, July 16, 2007
Lunch date.
So, I just got a late night call from The Girl From Idaho.
As it turns out, she's leaving Chicago on Wednesday morning. So, this was just a quick dash into my city and out. Which happens. It's a little sad, but not a big deal. I got one really lovely dinner with her. So, I'm not complaining.
She asked me if I could take off from work tomorrow. And I wanted to. Lord, but I wanted to. But the ladies in my office are out until 11:00am. There will literally be nobody there, but me, until they return from their morning meeting.
So, I can't take off.
No matter how much I might want to.
And I'm fine with that. This is me now. This is my job now. And it has to take precedence. I've been too long in the wasteland. So, I pass up a day spent with her in The Art Institute (which you may recall is one of the places we went, the last time she was here). She's going there with my friend, Vicky, instead.
As a concession, I suggested lunch with the two of them.
She said, "Well, we're thinking about getting sushi. Do you like sushi?"
I said, "Of course, I like sushi. What time do you want to go?"
"How does 1 work for you?"
"1 works just fine for me."
I heard Vicky talking in the background and then Tara came back and said, "How does 2 work for you, actually?"
"2 works just fine for me, too. I'm pretty flexible."
So we set the plan for a 2pm sushi date for the three of us.
And here's the part where I tell you how much I don't like sushi. I don't like sushi. I REALLY don't like sushi. I had it once, 9 years ago. I tried the spring rolls and the wasabi sauce and eventually ended up ignoring all of the sushi rolls and eating the tiny eggrolls that were served as garnish on the platter.
I don't dig on fish. I don't dig on spicy shit. And I don't dig on cucumbers. So, sushi bars are a whole lot of nothing for me to eat.
But I didn't tell her that. I just smiled and said, "Of course, I like sushi" and dutifully began googling sushi bars down by where I work. I found one nearby (Kamehachi, at 240 E. Ontario St) and I've been frantically scanning the menu, looking for ANYTHING that looks like it might offer tiny eggrolls as garnish.
Tomorrow, I'll meet up with those two lovely girls. And I'll try to keep from beaming at Tara and I'll order whatever I find on the menu tonight. And eat whatever comes on my plate that looks like food and smile and tell her how much I LOVE sushi and make small talk and after lunch, I'll hug her and let her go and I probably won't see her again until Christmas, if then.
On my way back to the office, I might stop off and get some lunch, to eat at my desk.
As it turns out, she's leaving Chicago on Wednesday morning. So, this was just a quick dash into my city and out. Which happens. It's a little sad, but not a big deal. I got one really lovely dinner with her. So, I'm not complaining.
She asked me if I could take off from work tomorrow. And I wanted to. Lord, but I wanted to. But the ladies in my office are out until 11:00am. There will literally be nobody there, but me, until they return from their morning meeting.
So, I can't take off.
No matter how much I might want to.
And I'm fine with that. This is me now. This is my job now. And it has to take precedence. I've been too long in the wasteland. So, I pass up a day spent with her in The Art Institute (which you may recall is one of the places we went, the last time she was here). She's going there with my friend, Vicky, instead.
As a concession, I suggested lunch with the two of them.
She said, "Well, we're thinking about getting sushi. Do you like sushi?"
I said, "Of course, I like sushi. What time do you want to go?"
"How does 1 work for you?"
"1 works just fine for me."
I heard Vicky talking in the background and then Tara came back and said, "How does 2 work for you, actually?"
"2 works just fine for me, too. I'm pretty flexible."
So we set the plan for a 2pm sushi date for the three of us.
And here's the part where I tell you how much I don't like sushi. I don't like sushi. I REALLY don't like sushi. I had it once, 9 years ago. I tried the spring rolls and the wasabi sauce and eventually ended up ignoring all of the sushi rolls and eating the tiny eggrolls that were served as garnish on the platter.
I don't dig on fish. I don't dig on spicy shit. And I don't dig on cucumbers. So, sushi bars are a whole lot of nothing for me to eat.
But I didn't tell her that. I just smiled and said, "Of course, I like sushi" and dutifully began googling sushi bars down by where I work. I found one nearby (Kamehachi, at 240 E. Ontario St) and I've been frantically scanning the menu, looking for ANYTHING that looks like it might offer tiny eggrolls as garnish.
Tomorrow, I'll meet up with those two lovely girls. And I'll try to keep from beaming at Tara and I'll order whatever I find on the menu tonight. And eat whatever comes on my plate that looks like food and smile and tell her how much I LOVE sushi and make small talk and after lunch, I'll hug her and let her go and I probably won't see her again until Christmas, if then.
On my way back to the office, I might stop off and get some lunch, to eat at my desk.
Night Terrors Revisited.
Quick Note: One of my first posts in this blog, ever, was about my own Night Terrors. You can read it here.
Lately, I've been listening to a new podcast. Well, it's new to me. It's called WNYC's Radio Lab. And it's actually been around since 2005. I just hadn't heard of it until last week. You can visit their website by going here.
I first heard of the show when Ira Glass excerpted one of their segments in last week's "This American Life". I was intrigued by the shows aggressive, but appropriate soundscapes. Things that they described in the show, play out in the background of the audio. You can actually hear what they're talking about, happening in the background. It's hard to describe, without your hearing it.
Which is why you should probably go to Itunes and subscribe to the podcast for yourself.
The general idea of each Radio Lab podcast is that the two hosts, Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, take some broad scientific topic like "Placebos", "Sleep" or "The Zoo" and weave stories around and about the topic. They interview experts, who zero in on some aspect of the topic and explore them for a bit, before smoothly moving on to some other aspect of the topic. In the background, the whole time, the music and sound perfectly compliment what they're talking about. They make use of volume, quiet, pauses, voices, dialects, repetition, and fades, to enhance the subject matter and in some cases, even take the focus of the broadcast.
It's fascinating. And almost dream-like. Which is very, very interesting, when they're tackling topics like "Who Am I? Where does my soul come from?" and that sort of thing. Heady stuff!
In the third show of the current season, the topic is "Sleep". They discuss how an activity that nearly every single organic creature does is still a bit of a mystery. Why we do it. What our brains do, when we do it. And how it affects us. All topics that they discuss.
They discuss how dolphins sleep (resting one half of their brains at a time, hovering at the top of the pool, so that they can still breathe). They discuss how ducks do it (huddled up in a line. The ones at the center, sleep with both eyes closed and the ones at the end, sleep with one eye, literally, open to watch for possible predators. Then, they switch sides, to rest the other eye). As it turns out, human beings are one of the very few species on the planet (if not THE only species) which is so safe in it's environment, that it sleeps so, so deeply, without an internal alarm system to watch for possible predators. A skill that we've lost, as we've mastered our the world around us.
That is, except for the people who experience Night Terrors. The wikipedia defines Night Terrors as...
Yeah, crazy stuff. People who suffer Night Terrors are mobile and very active. All too often, they dream that they're being attacked and in some cases, lash out at their attackers, even injuring loved ones sleeping next to them.
Radio Lab theorizes that in these cases, the sleepers are experiencing a connection to their deeper, less evolved monkey-self. That they're reliving the feelings of an animal that is possibly under attack from unknown predators and that these are the the triggers that make them lash out so violently.
I found all of that very interesting.
I, myself, frequently have Night Terrors.
I wake up, thinking that there is someone (or somethings) in my bedroom, observing or affecting me. Usually, I can turn on the light and in short time, be reassured that everything is 100% okay. To my knowledge, I've never physically lashed out in my sleep. When I was a kid, I DID have dreams that I was fighting things (usually zombies or demons), but I don't have those dreams anymore. Now my Night Terrors are just strange visitors, observing me and getting ready to take an action that I thwart every time, by waking up.
Equally interesting as this discussion, is video of people actually having Night Terrors under medical lab testing conditions.
Which I am about to show you now.
Look, these people are having full blown freak-outs. They're dreaming of something coming after them or attacking them and they're fighting back. There's something inherently funny about watching people lash out at things that aren't there. All my years of watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" has taught me that people being scared is funny.
Especially when you know that they're not in any real danger. So, I give you permission to watch these clips and enjoy the spectacle of someone experiencing night terrors. I did.
Oh, and sign up to download Radio Lab to your ipod. You'll be glad you did. It's really incredible.
Check it out, won't you?
Cheers,
Mr.B
Lately, I've been listening to a new podcast. Well, it's new to me. It's called WNYC's Radio Lab. And it's actually been around since 2005. I just hadn't heard of it until last week. You can visit their website by going here.
I first heard of the show when Ira Glass excerpted one of their segments in last week's "This American Life". I was intrigued by the shows aggressive, but appropriate soundscapes. Things that they described in the show, play out in the background of the audio. You can actually hear what they're talking about, happening in the background. It's hard to describe, without your hearing it.
Which is why you should probably go to Itunes and subscribe to the podcast for yourself.
The general idea of each Radio Lab podcast is that the two hosts, Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich, take some broad scientific topic like "Placebos", "Sleep" or "The Zoo" and weave stories around and about the topic. They interview experts, who zero in on some aspect of the topic and explore them for a bit, before smoothly moving on to some other aspect of the topic. In the background, the whole time, the music and sound perfectly compliment what they're talking about. They make use of volume, quiet, pauses, voices, dialects, repetition, and fades, to enhance the subject matter and in some cases, even take the focus of the broadcast.
It's fascinating. And almost dream-like. Which is very, very interesting, when they're tackling topics like "Who Am I? Where does my soul come from?" and that sort of thing. Heady stuff!
In the third show of the current season, the topic is "Sleep". They discuss how an activity that nearly every single organic creature does is still a bit of a mystery. Why we do it. What our brains do, when we do it. And how it affects us. All topics that they discuss.
They discuss how dolphins sleep (resting one half of their brains at a time, hovering at the top of the pool, so that they can still breathe). They discuss how ducks do it (huddled up in a line. The ones at the center, sleep with both eyes closed and the ones at the end, sleep with one eye, literally, open to watch for possible predators. Then, they switch sides, to rest the other eye). As it turns out, human beings are one of the very few species on the planet (if not THE only species) which is so safe in it's environment, that it sleeps so, so deeply, without an internal alarm system to watch for possible predators. A skill that we've lost, as we've mastered our the world around us.
That is, except for the people who experience Night Terrors. The wikipedia defines Night Terrors as...
...a parasomnia sleep disorder characterized by extreme terror and a temporary inability to regain full consciousness. The subject wakes abruptly from slow-wave sleep, with waking usually accompanied by gasping, moaning, or screaming.
Yeah, crazy stuff. People who suffer Night Terrors are mobile and very active. All too often, they dream that they're being attacked and in some cases, lash out at their attackers, even injuring loved ones sleeping next to them.
Radio Lab theorizes that in these cases, the sleepers are experiencing a connection to their deeper, less evolved monkey-self. That they're reliving the feelings of an animal that is possibly under attack from unknown predators and that these are the the triggers that make them lash out so violently.
I found all of that very interesting.
I, myself, frequently have Night Terrors.
I wake up, thinking that there is someone (or somethings) in my bedroom, observing or affecting me. Usually, I can turn on the light and in short time, be reassured that everything is 100% okay. To my knowledge, I've never physically lashed out in my sleep. When I was a kid, I DID have dreams that I was fighting things (usually zombies or demons), but I don't have those dreams anymore. Now my Night Terrors are just strange visitors, observing me and getting ready to take an action that I thwart every time, by waking up.
Equally interesting as this discussion, is video of people actually having Night Terrors under medical lab testing conditions.
Which I am about to show you now.
Look, these people are having full blown freak-outs. They're dreaming of something coming after them or attacking them and they're fighting back. There's something inherently funny about watching people lash out at things that aren't there. All my years of watching "America's Funniest Home Videos" has taught me that people being scared is funny.
Especially when you know that they're not in any real danger. So, I give you permission to watch these clips and enjoy the spectacle of someone experiencing night terrors. I did.
Oh, and sign up to download Radio Lab to your ipod. You'll be glad you did. It's really incredible.
Check it out, won't you?
Cheers,
Mr.B
"Read a mothafuckin' book, nigga! "
God Bless Ryan for suggesting that I take a look at this.
Here's what he told me...
"This is the cartoon that was being produced by one of the offices that I interviewed with, in LA. I remember hearing them talk about it. Well, it's finished now and is available for viewing and understandably, people are pretty upset about it. Look it up on Youtube, it's called "Read a Book"
And so I did.
And this is what I saw.
(This video is not safe for work. And must be watched, with sound, to get the full quality of it's presentation.)
It strikes me as a a modern "Schoolhouse Rock Live". Clearly, the authors are trying to give young blacks the important messages that they need to grow up and be healthy, productive young men and women.
And those messages are...
"Read a Mothafuckin' Book."
"Raise Yo Goddamn Kids."
"Yo Body Needs Watah, so drink that shit!"
"Buy some land. Fuck spinnin' rims."
"Brush yo goddamn teeth."
and
"Wear deoderant, nigga!"
I can see why people are upset.
Wow.
More info on this video is available here.
Mr.B
Here's what he told me...
"This is the cartoon that was being produced by one of the offices that I interviewed with, in LA. I remember hearing them talk about it. Well, it's finished now and is available for viewing and understandably, people are pretty upset about it. Look it up on Youtube, it's called "Read a Book"
And so I did.
And this is what I saw.
(This video is not safe for work. And must be watched, with sound, to get the full quality of it's presentation.)
It strikes me as a a modern "Schoolhouse Rock Live". Clearly, the authors are trying to give young blacks the important messages that they need to grow up and be healthy, productive young men and women.
And those messages are...
"Read a Mothafuckin' Book."
"Raise Yo Goddamn Kids."
"Yo Body Needs Watah, so drink that shit!"
"Buy some land. Fuck spinnin' rims."
"Brush yo goddamn teeth."
and
"Wear deoderant, nigga!"
I can see why people are upset.
Wow.
More info on this video is available here.
Mr.B
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Ratatouille on the nature of criticism...
I just checked and someone over on IMDB has finally posted Anton Ego's speech from the end of Ratatouille. Can there be a finer coda put on the relationship between critics and artists?
And although, it's about cooking and Gusteau's restaurant, couldn't it actually be about improv and the theater where you perform?
And although, it's about cooking and Gusteau's restaurant, couldn't it actually be about improv and the theater where you perform?
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.
But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new. Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions is a gross understatement. They have rocked me to my core.
In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize that only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
My "Winnie The Pooh" Improv Analogy...
At Fugue rehearsal today, I had this idea and I've been turning it over in my head, trying to polish it and make it a close analogy to what I believe. Maybe recording it here will help me complete that process.
After reading the thing that I hammered out last night, I am retitling this to be my "Winnie The Pooh" Improv Analogy. It just seems to be applicable, what with all the talk of forestry and singing toadstools and the like.
I don't know how useful this would actually be to anyone else. To me, I re-read it and see that each paragraph offers a direct corollary to an improv misstep that often waylays a good scene. And the analogy that a good improv scene is like a walk in the forest seems clear enough to me, too.
I don't know. Maybe it's just interesting to me. Either way, you've read it now. You can't UN-read it!
Cheers,
Mr.B
If you were to ask me what a good improv scene was like, this is what I would tell you...
Imagine that you and your friend (your scene partner) are in a clearing (the moment before your scene begins), at the edge of a dense forest (the actual scene, itself).
The forest is old. Very old. And the there is an unimaginable number of trees in it. It goes on forever. And you know from personal experience and the words of others, that there are wonderful (and occasionally terrible) surprises in this forest. Treehouse villages. Stone carvings of giant men that talk. Singing mushrooms and toadstools. Riverside villages. Tall ships. Men Fishing by the riversides. Wonderful, amazing, incredible things that simply are not available to you, in your clearing. The forest is also so dense that you can't see into it more than a few feet.
You can bring a map with you, if you want. And you can even turn to your friend and say, "This is the route that I think we should take and this is the destination that we should head for", if you want to. And they may or may not agree to that. They may have their own route and destination in mind. One of you will have to give up on your plan and go with the other one or you'll both have to agree to ditch both plans and take a risk and enter the forest, completely fresh and without a plan. But because you're both well trained hikers and have been in other parts of this same forest many times before, entering it without a map or a planned route or a destination isn't as scary as it was, the first time that you entered the forest.
Either way, you and your friend agree to begin walking. To enter this forest together. This is, after all, the point of your being there, to enter the forest together.
Immediately, upon walking up to the forest, you notice that there are actually many, many paths that already weave through the forest. The paths are firmly in place by the footsteps of the many hikers who have came before you. And some of them have even left you path markers to help you avoid the bigger pitfalls and sinkholes. And you can choose to follow them, if you want to. Or you can go your own way. Just know that you won't get too far into the forest, without crossing a path that someone else has already crossed before. It's no big deal. Being first isn't nearly as important as moving forward. Even Lewis and Clarke ran into the Indians.
The first few steps that you and your friend take into this strange and wonderful new world are very, very important. On a very basic level, they determine the direction that you're going to head into. (Or at least, the direction that you're going to START walking in. You can change directions together later, if you want to.) One thing that you've heard before from other hikers is that it's important to head in a vaguely straight-forward direction. If you go in at a very steep angle, you'll walk for a long time and find that you've barely entered the forest at all, because you're not moving forward together. You're moving laterally. And that's no way to explore this particular forest. You have to go deeper, if you want to find something worth exploring.
So, the first few steps together are key. It's a good idea to talk to your friend and ask how they're doing. Because you want to make sure that you are both moving forward together. And that you've not left your friend behind. Or that you're lagging so far behind that they're way ahead of you. Or that you two didn't enter the forest together and immediately begin walking in opposite directions. That's the absolute worst. Losing your friend immediately. Because a walk is always more pleasant with a friend. Walking alone is "exercise" and nobody likes "exercise".
So, you enter the forest and you chat with your friend and maybe you begin to look at the tools that you've both brought into the forest on your own. You might have some swimsuits with you. Your friend might have a picnic basket packed. You might have a pair of spelunking helmets. Your friend might have a banjo and a harmonica. You didn't plan this trip ahead of time. You brought with you what you already had and by offering to share them with your friend, you two can get an idea of the things that you might enjoy doing together in the forest. In this case, looks like you might go swimming, enjoy a nice picnic, explore a cave and then jam some folk songs together. Which is a pretty eventful day.
Now, sure, you can ditch those everything you've got there and choose to go hang-gliding, or pan for gold or plant some seedlings, but all of those things require their own set of tools. Wouldn't it be easier for you both to go with the things that you're already prepared to do? I mean, have you ever tried to dig a tree-planting hole using a banjo? It takes forever. And it's not good for you or the banjo. Better to play sweet, sweet music together.
And hey, how nice is that you had no idea that you'd enjoy a swim, a picnic, an adventure and a song, before you ever entered the forest in the first place. If you'd planned out your trip in advance and ignored the swimming hole or the picnic grounds in favor of some other destination, you'd have missed out on these opportunities that you were already prepared to do. Therein lies the wisdom of enterng the forest without a plan and a destination.
After you've been going along for a while, you may find yourself walking on a pathway together. A path that you didn't pick initially, but that seems to be heading towards your new destination. It's much easier to walk on a path, than to hack your way through underbrush when there's a perfectly natural path already there and waiting for you. Don't mistake painful physical exertion for hard work. You don't need to clear all of that underbrush. It's not admirable to chart a new course, wasting time and energy, when an alternative is already there. In fact, I've seen some hikers get so bogged down in forcing their way through a particularly dense bit of growth, that they seem to stop moving forward at all. When that happens, I think to myself, "They must be new at this. To waste so much energy, for so little return."
One thing you should know about paths is that they have branches to them. Alternative routes that criss-cross over them. They're rarely a straight run from Point A to Point B. If you want to, you and your friend can take a fork and branch off to the left. And twenty yards down the path way, you can find another fork that branches right back to the path that you originally left. Some people will tell you to avoid these branches. That they waste your time and make you go out of your way for nothing. But I've walked down branches before and one time I found a little cottage there that I didn't know was there, and met a very nice little couple, who gave me some tea and cookies and told me a funny little story, before I walked on. I eventually crossed back to my original path and maybe did lose some time, but I got a full belly and a funny story for my time. Sometimes there are hidden wonders down the side-branches. You never know, unless you look.
Of course, you could just as easily get lost entirely and never make it to your destination at all and die in the forest, hungry and starving and eaten by a bear.
So, consider your branches as wisely as you can, before taking them. And if it looks like they aren't getting you anywhere, head right back to your first path. It's still there, waiting for you.
While you're walking to your destination, take some time to enjoy all of the wonderful details of your hike through the woods. Listen, actually listen, to the birds singing in the trees. Stop and feel a ray of sunbeam, breaking through the tree canopy, as it warms your skin. When you come to a cool stream of fresh clean water, stop and sip from it and feel how electrically real the water is. These experiences, these little moments, are what makes the trip worth taking. In many ways, they're more important than the final destination and what will or will not happen there. Absorbing the details of this experience, are secretly the best part of walking with a friend, and being alive. So savor them. They're the bits you'll talk about, in the lodge, later that night.
When you see a patch of honeysuckle, why don't you run up behind your friend and push them off the path and into them? Your friend won't be expecting it. It'll surprise the Hell out of them. But honeysuckle patches are soft and they won't really get hurt and it's not like you're tossing them off a cliff or something. Once they're down there, teach them how to get the honey out of the honeysuckle flower and eat a few together. Every journey should have a few tricks played between friends.
After a time you'll probably reach the swimming hole and the picnic area and the cave entrance and the campfire and maybe you'll find other friends there too. People you like, who entered the forest right around the same time that you did, took their own paths and ended up at roughly the same destination that you did. And how nice is that? Seeing absent friends after they've had an adventure. Show them the cool stuff that you and your friend have carried there. And look at what your reunited friends brought with them. And if they can combine and be used together, do that. Because swimming and picnicing and making music is always better with more friends around.
And one more thing, One final tip for the fully well rounded human being, do the things that you set out to do. Swim. Eat. Explore the Cave. Play Music. Play Music with your food. Or explore an underwater cave. But actually treat yourself to the things that you've worked so hard and walked so far to do together. I promise you that these experiences will all be sweet, made that much better by the work that you've put into getting them. And that's one of the biggest secrets of this whole experience, remembering to give yourself the simple things that you've already promised to yourself. That's key to having a good hike, a full life and good scene.
Oh, and if this sounds hard and like a lot of walking and that it's not easy, it is. It's not easy. Sometimes it's ridiculously fucking hard. But I've often heard it said that challenges overcome are more satisfying that easy tasks undertaken. It's the difficulty of doing this thing, that helps to make it worth doing. So, know that it might be hard. But that's okay, too. Few things in this forest are insurmountable.
And it takes some training to travel safely through the forest. And you SHOULD listen to the advice of more experiences hikers. They know what they're talking about.
Usually.
Sometimes they're full of shit, too.
You get to decide for yourself, what's useful and what's the shit.
You can also be born with naturally strong leg muscles that make hiking easier for you. But that's not all there is to a hike. I've seen some very strong hikers, who never really got anywhere, because they didn't think TO go anywhere. And muscles can be built over time.
Also, it's a pretty big forest and there's room for everybody to hike in it. If you're new to the forest, don't go so far into it and you'll be fine. And don't beat yourself up about not going in deeper. Each time you go it, you'll get a little bit farther in. And it's a big relief to look around one day and see that there are other hikers who are newer to it than you are. And they're more afraid to enter it, than you are. If you have any tips for them, pass them along. That's generally how this thing works.
Happy Travels,
Mr.B
After reading the thing that I hammered out last night, I am retitling this to be my "Winnie The Pooh" Improv Analogy. It just seems to be applicable, what with all the talk of forestry and singing toadstools and the like.
I don't know how useful this would actually be to anyone else. To me, I re-read it and see that each paragraph offers a direct corollary to an improv misstep that often waylays a good scene. And the analogy that a good improv scene is like a walk in the forest seems clear enough to me, too.
I don't know. Maybe it's just interesting to me. Either way, you've read it now. You can't UN-read it!
Cheers,
Mr.B
Thursday, July 12, 2007
A Very Important Visitor.
Right now, as I type this, this guy is in my bosses office, meeting with the other staff.
He's in town right now to speak at a private luncheon at noon with 15 very important members of the Jewish business community. It's a luncheon, with a short Q&A, followed by a gentle push for donations to our organization.
I just met the guy, myself. I called him by his last name and shook his hand and he insisted that we all call him by his first name, "Ephraim". He was soft-spoken and very polite.
Hard to believe that he was the director of one of the most secretive, most deadly, most effective counter-intelligence agencies that the world has ever seen. This one.
According to his wikipedia biography, he authored a book that got him on The Daily Show last year. Which is not quite as exciting as hunting down Nazi war criminals and spying on another government and heading up assassination squads. Close, but not quite.
Yeah, so, I just met him and that has made my day significantly cooler.
Cheers,
Mr.B
PS. You might've noticed that I am not including his name or the name of his former employer or the group that they wage war with. Yeah, well, that's for a reason. I don't want any search engines to lead anyone back to this post, or me, or my guest. For the simple reason that some of the people who might research that, might come here and kill me or the nice people that I work for.
He's in town right now to speak at a private luncheon at noon with 15 very important members of the Jewish business community. It's a luncheon, with a short Q&A, followed by a gentle push for donations to our organization.
I just met the guy, myself. I called him by his last name and shook his hand and he insisted that we all call him by his first name, "Ephraim". He was soft-spoken and very polite.
Hard to believe that he was the director of one of the most secretive, most deadly, most effective counter-intelligence agencies that the world has ever seen. This one.
According to his wikipedia biography, he authored a book that got him on The Daily Show last year. Which is not quite as exciting as hunting down Nazi war criminals and spying on another government and heading up assassination squads. Close, but not quite.
Yeah, so, I just met him and that has made my day significantly cooler.
Cheers,
Mr.B
PS. You might've noticed that I am not including his name or the name of his former employer or the group that they wage war with. Yeah, well, that's for a reason. I don't want any search engines to lead anyone back to this post, or me, or my guest. For the simple reason that some of the people who might research that, might come here and kill me or the nice people that I work for.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Introducing Johnny Tahoe!
I didn't know what to expect.
Here's what Rachel told me on the phone...
And that was my introduction to emceeing Women's Oil-Wrestling Competitions.
I'd gotten the gig by answering a post on CIN. I don't know how the producer, Rachel, found out about that site, but she'd posted there, asking for applications and I thought, "Why not? You could certainly make cash in far shittier ways. PLUS, it'll be Oil Wrestling, right?" So, I emailed her my resume and hit on my qualifications and low-balled my price to her. I wasn't really doing it for the cash.
I knew that I wanted to wear something "special" for the show. I wanted to dress like how I imagined an oil-wrestling announcer would dress. So, I wore a black suit to work yesterday and a dark, dress shirt and boots.
After work, I hit up Ragstock on Belmont and picked up the rest of the stuff that I needed.
Neck tie - $2
Sunglasses - $5
Red Pinky Ring - $3
Skull and Crossbones Ring - $5
Black Cowboy Hat - $5
Presidential Seal Button for the hat - 50 cents.
Throw them all together and you get the first pass at my costume for Johnny Tahoe, Oil-Wrestling Announcer...
I like the costume. It's like nothing that I already had in my closet. Although, I have to confess that I want to make one addition to the costume for the next time that I do it.
Hooray for Spirit Gum, eh?
This character is like no-one I've ever played before.
As I see him, Johnny Tahoe is a bad-ass, slow-drawling, Master of Ceremonies type, who has no interest in you, beyond how much money you can make him. And indeed, when I was up on the stage, I cussed at the audience and insulted them, I lazily encouraged them to cheer for the ladies and many times let them know that I was more interested in the girls and what they were doing, than I was, in entertaining the audience.
And they ate it up.
People offered to buy Johnny Tahoe drinks. (I didn't take them up on it, as I was on the clock.) People asked Johnny Tahoe where he was from. ("Where do ya think Ahm from, Smartass?") And people made their way over to Johnny Tahoe to tell him how much they loved the whole affair.
And how was the wrestling, you may ask?
It was... interesting. Public Exhibitions of Ladies Oil Wrestling lives somewhere in the grey areas of society. It's not quite a comedy show, because the ladies (in this case) were too fucking hot and they weren't really doing or saying anything funny. And it's not quite public porn, because they keep their bikini tops on and they're not quite fucking each other (not quite). So, it's a crazy, over-the-top, loud, screaming mess of girls in a kiddie pool, scantily clad, and sopping with oil, throwing each other down and leg-locking each other and sometimes grinding against each other and sometimes making out, whilst a crowd of mostly men stand there and take pictures with their cell phones.
At the time of the show, it never occurred to me that it was "hot". It was just a job and I tried to remember the girls names and keep the banter alive. Later, when I got home, I definitely felt turned on and super-charged. Which I didn't think would happen.
The girls were all actually really, really hot. Some of them had big boobs and some had fake boobs and they all had such itty bitty bikinis on. The general theme of the night was "Big Boobs, covered in baby-oil". And when I met them before the show, dressed, eating dinner and having a beer, I thought, "Damn, these girls are all much hotter than I expected them to be." They looked pretty good in their little bikini's too.
And what did it look like?
Well, it pretty much looked like this video clip...
(Um, this is video of girls oil-wrestling. Which might not be work-safe, ya know?)
Except our girls were frantically wrestling each, hard scrabbling and vicious. There was so much oil on the girls (both from the pool and the lucky raffle winners who would get to come up and squirt the girls down with MORE baby oil) that they literally squirted out from between each others legs and couldn't keep a grip on each other, except by full body tackles and wrapping their legs around each other... and making out.
I liked the part where they would stop wrestling in order to make out.
At the end of the night, I was EXHAUSTED and I reeked of baby oil. The girls splashed around in that shit so much that they got me pretty good. So, that's a suit that'll have to be dry-cleaned now. And soon.
I got home, snapped those pics of Mr. Tahoe for this blog entry and then went to bed where I had the dirtiest, dirtiest dreams ever.
I had fun. And it turns out that the whole event was a fund-raiser for an independent documentary that the producer is working on. She has a couple more of these events scheduled and she asked if I was available to host them. I told her to give me a call and I'll put on my pinky ring for her.
Somewhere, in the Chicago suburbs, a bad man in a black hat will walk into a bar, pick up the microphone and cause all manner of Hell to break loose, covered in baby oil.
That man is called "Johnny Tahoe"!
Here's what Rachel told me on the phone...
"Get to Sluggers around 9pm. That's when the rest of the girls are going to be there. Everything will already be set up. The doors open at 10pm. Admission is $12. I kinda want this thing to run on time, so I'll be pretty strict about getting the matches started and ended. We'll also be doing some prize raffles and stuff. You also get one comp and I'll pay you after the show."
And that was my introduction to emceeing Women's Oil-Wrestling Competitions.
I'd gotten the gig by answering a post on CIN. I don't know how the producer, Rachel, found out about that site, but she'd posted there, asking for applications and I thought, "Why not? You could certainly make cash in far shittier ways. PLUS, it'll be Oil Wrestling, right?" So, I emailed her my resume and hit on my qualifications and low-balled my price to her. I wasn't really doing it for the cash.
I knew that I wanted to wear something "special" for the show. I wanted to dress like how I imagined an oil-wrestling announcer would dress. So, I wore a black suit to work yesterday and a dark, dress shirt and boots.
After work, I hit up Ragstock on Belmont and picked up the rest of the stuff that I needed.
Neck tie - $2
Sunglasses - $5
Red Pinky Ring - $3
Skull and Crossbones Ring - $5
Black Cowboy Hat - $5
Presidential Seal Button for the hat - 50 cents.
Throw them all together and you get the first pass at my costume for Johnny Tahoe, Oil-Wrestling Announcer...
I like the costume. It's like nothing that I already had in my closet. Although, I have to confess that I want to make one addition to the costume for the next time that I do it.
Hooray for Spirit Gum, eh?
This character is like no-one I've ever played before.
As I see him, Johnny Tahoe is a bad-ass, slow-drawling, Master of Ceremonies type, who has no interest in you, beyond how much money you can make him. And indeed, when I was up on the stage, I cussed at the audience and insulted them, I lazily encouraged them to cheer for the ladies and many times let them know that I was more interested in the girls and what they were doing, than I was, in entertaining the audience.
And they ate it up.
People offered to buy Johnny Tahoe drinks. (I didn't take them up on it, as I was on the clock.) People asked Johnny Tahoe where he was from. ("Where do ya think Ahm from, Smartass?") And people made their way over to Johnny Tahoe to tell him how much they loved the whole affair.
And how was the wrestling, you may ask?
It was... interesting. Public Exhibitions of Ladies Oil Wrestling lives somewhere in the grey areas of society. It's not quite a comedy show, because the ladies (in this case) were too fucking hot and they weren't really doing or saying anything funny. And it's not quite public porn, because they keep their bikini tops on and they're not quite fucking each other (not quite). So, it's a crazy, over-the-top, loud, screaming mess of girls in a kiddie pool, scantily clad, and sopping with oil, throwing each other down and leg-locking each other and sometimes grinding against each other and sometimes making out, whilst a crowd of mostly men stand there and take pictures with their cell phones.
At the time of the show, it never occurred to me that it was "hot". It was just a job and I tried to remember the girls names and keep the banter alive. Later, when I got home, I definitely felt turned on and super-charged. Which I didn't think would happen.
The girls were all actually really, really hot. Some of them had big boobs and some had fake boobs and they all had such itty bitty bikinis on. The general theme of the night was "Big Boobs, covered in baby-oil". And when I met them before the show, dressed, eating dinner and having a beer, I thought, "Damn, these girls are all much hotter than I expected them to be." They looked pretty good in their little bikini's too.
And what did it look like?
Well, it pretty much looked like this video clip...
(Um, this is video of girls oil-wrestling. Which might not be work-safe, ya know?)
Except our girls were frantically wrestling each, hard scrabbling and vicious. There was so much oil on the girls (both from the pool and the lucky raffle winners who would get to come up and squirt the girls down with MORE baby oil) that they literally squirted out from between each others legs and couldn't keep a grip on each other, except by full body tackles and wrapping their legs around each other... and making out.
I liked the part where they would stop wrestling in order to make out.
At the end of the night, I was EXHAUSTED and I reeked of baby oil. The girls splashed around in that shit so much that they got me pretty good. So, that's a suit that'll have to be dry-cleaned now. And soon.
I got home, snapped those pics of Mr. Tahoe for this blog entry and then went to bed where I had the dirtiest, dirtiest dreams ever.
I had fun. And it turns out that the whole event was a fund-raiser for an independent documentary that the producer is working on. She has a couple more of these events scheduled and she asked if I was available to host them. I told her to give me a call and I'll put on my pinky ring for her.
Somewhere, in the Chicago suburbs, a bad man in a black hat will walk into a bar, pick up the microphone and cause all manner of Hell to break loose, covered in baby oil.
That man is called "Johnny Tahoe"!
Ratatouille: Portrait of an Artist.
I keep forgetting to poat about this, but I want to say something before this movie is gone from the big screen and you'll have missed your chance to go see it.
Go See Ratatouille.
Are you an actor or writer or artist? Can you appreciate impeccably timed physical comedy? Have you ever felt the pull of the artists motivation leading you away from your obligations to your family?
Well, then this movie is for you!
Forget the lame billboards around town that show Remy and his brother, playing soccer with olives and whatnot. Those scenes are not in the movie. There simpy are no sports parodies in this lovely, lovely film. That's just bad marketing.
Instead, you'll be getting a top-notch, lovingly crafted ode to the life of an artist which is, at turns, hilarious and also very, very touching.
Check out this review of the film from A.O.Scott, the New York Times movie reviewer, by clicking here. Here's a small snippet from his review...
I know Harry Potter is out this weekend and Michael Bay's CGI junk-heaps are rumbling around downtown L.A., but there's something smaller and quite frankly...better...waiting for you. Don't let this one pass you by.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Go See Ratatouille.
Are you an actor or writer or artist? Can you appreciate impeccably timed physical comedy? Have you ever felt the pull of the artists motivation leading you away from your obligations to your family?
Well, then this movie is for you!
Forget the lame billboards around town that show Remy and his brother, playing soccer with olives and whatnot. Those scenes are not in the movie. There simpy are no sports parodies in this lovely, lovely film. That's just bad marketing.
Instead, you'll be getting a top-notch, lovingly crafted ode to the life of an artist which is, at turns, hilarious and also very, very touching.
Check out this review of the film from A.O.Scott, the New York Times movie reviewer, by clicking here. Here's a small snippet from his review...
He is also, at least implicitly, a severe critic of the laziness and mediocrity that characterize so much popular culture. He criticizes partly by example, by avoiding the usual kid-movie clichés and demonstrating that a clear, accessible story can also be thoughtful and unpredictable. “Ratatouille” features no annoying sidekick and no obtrusive celebrity voice-work, and while Remy is cute, he can also be prickly, demanding and insecure.
Moreover, his basic moral conflict — between family obligation and individual ambition — is handled with unusual subtlety and complexity, so that the reassurances and resolutions of the movie’s end feel earned rather than predetermined.
And while the film buzzes with eye-pleasing action and incident — wild chases, hairbreadth escapes, the frenzied choreography of a busy kitchen — it does not try to overwhelm its audience with excessive noise and sensation. Instead Mr. Bird integrates story and spectacle with the light, sure touch that Vincente Minnelli brought to his best musicals and interweaves the tale of Remy’s career with beguiling subplots and curious characters.
I know Harry Potter is out this weekend and Michael Bay's CGI junk-heaps are rumbling around downtown L.A., but there's something smaller and quite frankly...better...waiting for you. Don't let this one pass you by.
Cheers,
Mr.B
A nice little review for the BBR...
Looks like this is an older review of the show. Dated 7/25/2006. But I'd never seen it before and so it was new to me! Here's what "Mark B" had to say...
I thought that was pretty nice, actually.
Cheers,
Mr.B
BELMONT BURLESQUE is a blast. For $10, you can take in an hour of burley
routines that are, overall, really, really fun stuff. Hosted by a semi-lush John
Goodman-esque front man who sings and schvitzes out tunes, along with his
not-too-slick cousin in overalls, they interact with the audience and introduce
girls who've happily dropped out of 1950. Babes of every body type and a
gorilla: what more could a Bettie Page fan want?Add the Amazing Tomas for some
slight-of-hand and quick banter, toss in some tassels and bring your own booze
for a few laughs and a lot of heart. for anyone hip enough to know the
difference between strippers and striptease, well, no explanation is needed.
Parking is crappy at best, so plan ahead. The place (Playground Theatre) is four
rows of 14 or so each, so you'd better be there early or with reservations. On
our night there, Michelle "America's Got Talent" L'amour did her fan dance. Lots
of tease, and a few toasts with the toasted boss: what's not to like?
Really recommended.
I thought that was pretty nice, actually.
Cheers,
Mr.B
Monday, July 09, 2007
The BBR Rocks Martyrs (again)!
Last weekend, we had ANOTHER gigantic weekend show at Martyrs. I had a bunch of friends in the audience. (Several Fugue members and Fuzzy and Erica and The Juice-Boxers, Steve and Joanna B. Just the most lovely people, ever.)
It was a spectacular show. The audience was there to be entertained and we packed the show FULL of guest stars and comedy and music and magic and boobies, boobies, boobies.
The show's producer passed these pictures onto me for my MySpace page and I'm soon off to load them there. But I thought you might like to see them too.
Here's a picture of a table full of people that I like, chatting during intermission. I was very lucky to have a bunch of good friends in the audience for the show. These are them.
This is a little skit where the girls kill my character, because he's cheated on all of them. It ends with Paris Green pulling the pin on a grenade and leaving it in my lap. In the blackout, I blows up! Nice.
Look at that great picture! The lighting looks good. My dopey costume looks good. And if you look to the left, you can see Ms. Pixy's knife coming to knife me up!
That's a little moment in the show when Ms. Titi Touche comes over and flirts me up a little bit. Just look at her smile! She's a firecracker onstage, as lively and exciting and vivacious as the best in the business. She's a delight to watch onstage!
This is The Duet. Hendo and I prepped a Duet of "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" and it brought the house down. They cheered when we started to sing together and laughed at all the right places and went bonkers when it was over, yelling for us.
And just look at our faces, we're having a blast, up there.
This has been a VERY good year to be doing the BBR. Road Trips! Martyrs Mega-Shows! And we just added a new Bombshell. Could this show be any more fun? (I don't think so. But I'm eager to be proven wrong!)
Dope-ily Yours,
Second Cousin Joe
PS. All photo credit goes to the fine, fine Mr. Fuzzy Gerdes, who makes people look much, much better onstage, than they probably looked at the show.
It was a spectacular show. The audience was there to be entertained and we packed the show FULL of guest stars and comedy and music and magic and boobies, boobies, boobies.
The show's producer passed these pictures onto me for my MySpace page and I'm soon off to load them there. But I thought you might like to see them too.
Here's a picture of a table full of people that I like, chatting during intermission. I was very lucky to have a bunch of good friends in the audience for the show. These are them.
This is a little skit where the girls kill my character, because he's cheated on all of them. It ends with Paris Green pulling the pin on a grenade and leaving it in my lap. In the blackout, I blows up! Nice.
Look at that great picture! The lighting looks good. My dopey costume looks good. And if you look to the left, you can see Ms. Pixy's knife coming to knife me up!
That's a little moment in the show when Ms. Titi Touche comes over and flirts me up a little bit. Just look at her smile! She's a firecracker onstage, as lively and exciting and vivacious as the best in the business. She's a delight to watch onstage!
This is The Duet. Hendo and I prepped a Duet of "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" and it brought the house down. They cheered when we started to sing together and laughed at all the right places and went bonkers when it was over, yelling for us.
And just look at our faces, we're having a blast, up there.
This has been a VERY good year to be doing the BBR. Road Trips! Martyrs Mega-Shows! And we just added a new Bombshell. Could this show be any more fun? (I don't think so. But I'm eager to be proven wrong!)
Dope-ily Yours,
Second Cousin Joe
PS. All photo credit goes to the fine, fine Mr. Fuzzy Gerdes, who makes people look much, much better onstage, than they probably looked at the show.
Jack Nicholson is 70.
These photos are almost Not Safe For Work. I mean, that's a lot of old man, boobage there.
I stole those pics from THIS website. You can click on that link to see even more pics of Nicholson looking like your creepy uncle, Carl.
I stole those pics from THIS website. You can click on that link to see even more pics of Nicholson looking like your creepy uncle, Carl.
Cloverfield...
I saw this trailer before Transformers on Sunday. Honestly, I was more excited by that then I was about the actual "Transformers".
The working title of the movie is "Cloverfield" and it's produced by J.J. Abrams, who brought us "Lost" and "Mission Impossibly 3". Which are both big points in my my opinion.
I love this trailer.
I love the raw immediacy of the hand held cameras. There's an internet rumor that the whole film is shot like that. And that it's about a small group of friends, who try to survive and get out of New York City, when a monster, something HUGE and deadly, comes to town.
Another rumor says that the monster is Chuthulu-esque.
Really?
Well, slap my ass and take my $8 now. I am SO there.
(And it opens 3 days before my birthday. A mass viewing of some kind might be in order.)
Your monster movie loving friend,
Mr.B
The working title of the movie is "Cloverfield" and it's produced by J.J. Abrams, who brought us "Lost" and "Mission Impossibly 3". Which are both big points in my my opinion.
I love this trailer.
I love the raw immediacy of the hand held cameras. There's an internet rumor that the whole film is shot like that. And that it's about a small group of friends, who try to survive and get out of New York City, when a monster, something HUGE and deadly, comes to town.
Another rumor says that the monster is Chuthulu-esque.
Really?
Well, slap my ass and take my $8 now. I am SO there.
(And it opens 3 days before my birthday. A mass viewing of some kind might be in order.)
Your monster movie loving friend,
Mr.B
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